‘This is a clothes shop – there isn’t a changing room?!’
The new trousers hang limply over my arm.
‘There’s a 28 day returns policy. Bring them back if they don’t fit,’ the assistant says.
‘Will I get cash back or store credit?’
She looks at me like I’m some kind of genetic accident.
To prove a point, I’m about to take off my jeans and try on the trousers in the middle of the shop. Then I remember what underpants I’m wearing and how old they are.
I storm off, chuntering, and put the trousers back on the rail.