Taken directly from a funeral service booklet:
The minister introduces the service in these or other suitable words
We have come here today
To remember before God our brother/sister N;
To give thanks for his/her life;
To commend him/her to God our merciful redeemer and judge;
To commit his/her body to be buried/cremated,
And to comfort one another in our grief.
A brief tribute may be made.
A hymn may be sung.
Let us commend N to the mercy of God our maker and redeemer.
Remember for good this your servant N
As we also remember him/her
Silence is kept.
In the cell of a budget hotel chain who’ve managed to turn austerity into a selling point. On the towel rail: ‘This unit has been disconnected for your safety’. The window: ‘for your safety this window is restricted.’
How about comfort? How about: ‘for your comfort, the duvet is thicker than an inch,’ or: ‘for your enjoyment, here’s a biscuit with the coffee making facilities,’ or even: ‘for your convenience we’ve provided you with some toiletries instead of charging you an extortionate amount to get them from our vending machine’.
The cost of the room wasn’t even that cheap.